Hello All!
I hope this blog finds you all in a loving kindful place. This weeks audio brought about many different feelings. With the first step, (bringing an individual who I hold with great love and tenderness into my mind) I had to start this over a few times. I kept bouncing from my husband, to my kids, to my mom. When I finally settled on my husband, I almost had to catch my breath, I noticed my jaw begin to tingle with a smile, and my heart became heavy (in a good way). The tingle moved to my fingertips and to my toes. It made me feel like my whole body was capable of giggling.
When I was then asked to bring the feelings towards myself, this task did not come so easily. I really had to work and concentrate on the sound of the ocean to overcome my feeling of selfishness. I am starting to see that during childhood we are taught to share, but not really taught that it is ok to receive as well. It was during this part of the session, that my heart felt heavy again (but just heavy), my jaw tightened (no smile), and my shoulders became stiff. The sound of the ocean brought about some feelings of calm. It is my belief that I really need to work on receiving!
It was when I heard the word "suffering" in direct correlation to my husband that a wave of fear took over. My stomach felt empty, my heart began to beat fast, and my whole body became stiff. Once again, I let the sound of the ocean bring me back to the moment. I concentrated on breathing out healthy, happiness, vibrant vibes. My body instantly found calm, relaxed and went almost limp. It was a great release from the previous moment.
Using this technique when it concerned the folks I did not know, immediate loved ones, and some who I did not necessarily care for, brought about the same ending each time. I felt calm within myself, in addition to almost sending a wish out into the universe that all is well in Debs world!
Through this experience, I have learned that I am more than capable of sending out loving kindness thoughts to just about anyone. It is only me, that I am not so sure about. What I do know is that I can confidently work to make this better!
Peace
Deb
Deb:
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job her describing your feelings as you walked through the loving kindness exercise. I like you thought of my husband but hen chose to go with my Grandmother who has been gone for many years but still sticks within my memory bank. my kids never knew her but I have always been told I was so much like her. She was a very special lady and had so much compassion and love for those around her. She had many trials in her life but never complained.
I am thinking like you that the sound of the ocean kept drawing me back to the task at hand because I kept drifting of with a mind full of to many things going on. I think I did do better at this one meditation exercise then any of the others we have tried. It may be because I had to put my thoughts on something that I was familiar with in my life. It gave me a sense of peace as I thought of the love I had for my Grandmother and that was a great feeling.
It appears that you had the same feeling kind of a sense of peace as you though of your husband but then kind of lost it for a moment as you thought of him suffering. This means that you will always be there for him if he was to go through any suffering because you want to feel it with him. You are a GREAT person and you just keep doing what you are doing and all will be well.
God Bless You
Jackie
Deb,
ReplyDeleteGood for you for being able to immerse yourself in the exercise so thoroughly! Receiving and learning to truly love yourself is the hardest part for most people in today's society. Something that I have an issue with is that everywhere you turn, people are telling you that in order to achieve peace, you must practice self-sacrifice. Forgive me if I offend you or anyone else reading this blog, but it's one of my biggest issues with most Christian based religions. Although, being able to share your love and energy with other people is integral for health, the lesson is not to sacrifice everything for everyone else. If you are not healthy and whole then you cannot help anyone else be healthy and whole. Work on being able to receive the love that surrounds you so you can, in turn, share that love with others.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for sharing your experience. I did not have as intense of an experience, but I wish I had. I think that it is amazing that you can relate to your husband in such an intense and intimate way without actually being physically intimate. It is nice to hear that someone can have such an experience.
I did not have the same feelings toward this assignment. I could not settle on one person. Like you, I kept thinking of one person and then another (one son, then the next, then my mom, then my dad). For me, it was difficult for me to focus on only one. I have made myself a promise to keep trying and repeat the process until I am satisfied that I have accomplished my goal of completing the exercise without distraction.
Thank you again for sharing your amazing experience.
Stephanie
Deb,
ReplyDeleteYou are truly blessed that you are able to extend loving kindness to others, and you will be able to make it better towards yourself with practice. Usually, loving oneself is most difficult because we know the undesirable aspects of ourselves. It is detrimental to our growth to suppress the negative things about ourselves, we must acknowledge them, accept them, and change what we can. If we pretend they do not exist or blaming ourselves for our faults it makes us appear fake or we transfer that to other people. We must accept ourselves for who we are, we must become our own mother, one that loves you unconditionally, no matter what we do.
Good Luck on your Journey Deb!
Peace, Robin